


Sacrifice

by stardust_20



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Another part in the series after S.O.S. part 2, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-04-01 20:32:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4033597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardust_20/pseuds/stardust_20
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first stop in Melinda May's time away from Shield is to visit her ex-husband. She's spent a lot of time avoiding talking to him; now it's time to finally set things straight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sacrifice

**Author's Note:**

> More in my series of "things I wish were true and would actually happen in canon". Probably won't, but it makes me feel better to think so. :)
> 
> This series of "what happened to Melinda May during her time away from Shield" appears to be writing itself out of order, as this particular story happens chronologically before Rebirth and Waterloo, but you don't have to have read either of those to read this.
> 
> Enjoy!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Andrew finally broke the uncomfortable silence. “I thought you came here to talk.”

May’s eyes flicked back to his face from across the room. “You know that was never my strong suit.”

“Good to know some things haven’t changed.”

She caught the wistfulness in his voice. “A lot of things haven’t changed,” she said softly, staring into his deep brown eyes. “I suppose I should start by saying I’m sorry. I should have said it years ago.”

“I’m sure you probably did.”

“But I didn’t really mean it. Not like I do now. I loved you, Andrew. I never stopped loving you, I hope you know that.”

The look he gave her was so tender it made her heart break all over again. “Then why didn’t you stay and let me help you get through it?”

“I couldn’t. I thought I was beyond help.”

“No one’s beyond help, Melinda. I would have been here for you as long as you needed me and we could have taken it as slowly as you wanted.”

“I know,” she breathed, words barely audible. “I didn’t think I was ever going to heal, Drew. There was nothing inside me. Just darkness. I turned off everything, all my feelings because I couldn’t bear to feel - to even think - of what I’d done. I withdrew so deep inside that I couldn’t even take you with me. Not to that place.”

“Yes, you killed a child, Mel, but you told me you had no choice. If you hadn’t, she would have killed you. No one can blame you for making that decision.”

“ _I_ blamed me, Andrew. I couldn’t forgive myself so I didn’t believe anyone else could forgive me.”

He sat back into the couch, looking at her through psychologist’s eyes. “Is that why you came here now? For me to tell you I forgive you? Is that what you need to hear?” 

May shrugged. “I’m not entirely sure why I came,” she said quietly. They fell into an uncomfortable silence. For once his ability to outwait her didn’t make her angry. “The truth finally came out. Phil knows. Skye knows.” 

“About the girl?” 

She nodded. 

“And?” 

“And … I feel lighter. Freer.” 

“You are. You’re finally able to let go of the burden you’ve been carrying around on your own all these years.” 

“Partly. I haven’t let it go yet but I feel less … _dark_ , inside, now that it’s out.” She half smiled. “And there you go playing shrink again.” 

He tilted his head sideways in a way she knew all-too well. “You expected different from me?” 

“I suppose not.” 

He reached over and slowly took her hand in his. “For what it’s worth, I do forgive you, Melinda. Not for the girl because the forgiveness you need for that isn’t mine to give. I forgive you for walking away and leaving me.” 

“I never meant to hurt you, Drew.” 

“I know. But you did. We both had painful things we had to get through but we did and now we’re stronger for it.” 

“I haven't gotten through it; I’ve just barely started scratching the surface.” 

He squeezed her hand. “Yes, but you’re not denying it anymore. You’ve made the decision to face it and move past it. That’s half the battle right there.” 

They smiled at one another, eyes carrying on where words left off. May grew uncomfortable as the silence lengthened so she pulled away from him, rising and pacing around the office. She stopped in front of his desk, hand hovering over the framed picture. “May I?” 

“Go ahead.” 

She wasn’t sure what she’d find when she turned it around. Butterflies gripped her stomach as she slowly flipped it around. An unfamiliar face smiled back at her. Caucasian, with light brown hair and green eyes. Andrew came to stand at her side. “Lauryn,” he said. “My girlfriend.” He chuckled. “It sounds strange to say girlfriend at my age, like we’re teenagers.” 

“Who is she?” 

“She works at Johns Hopkins in the radiology department. We met a year or so ago and began dating. Been together ever since.” 

“That’s great.” She put the picture down and looked up at him. “I’m happy for you, Drew.” At his skeptical look she took both of his hands in hers. “Really, I am. That was part of the reason I left you all those years ago. I wanted you to be happy and I could see you weren’t happy with me anymore.” 

“Only because you were suffering and unhappy with yourself.” 

“You deserved to have the wife and family you wanted and I knew I couldn’t be the one to give it to you. I didn’t know if I could ever even be _me_ again. So I let you go to be free to find someone else who could give you what you wanted.” 

“Melinda.” He swallowed hard. “I loved you. I wanted you.” 

“I know. I loved you too.” Her eyes shimmered. “A part of me still does. I think - “ she swallowed over the lump in her throat “ - a part of me always will. Not like that - I honestly am happy you’ve moved on and are happy with someone else.” 

He pulled her into a sudden hug. “You truly are an amazing woman. A part of me will always love you too, Mel. Always remember that.” 

She hugged back hard then pulled away to look up into his eyes. “Then go be happy with Lauryn. For me.” 

“What will you do?” 

She took a deep breath. “I’ll take the rest of my me time to sort some things out then I’ll go back and do what I always do.” 

“Kick ass and fly like a whirlwind?” 

“I was going to say watch Phil’s back and help hold Shield together, but that sounds far more poetic. You were always the one who was good with words.” 

He shrugged. “Different gifts. I hope Phil appreciates yours. He really ought to.” 

She couldn’t help the smile that bubbled up from deep inside. “I think he does.” 

A playful look crossed his face. “Is there something here I’m missing?” 

Her smile deepened. “Come out to dinner with me and you can find out.” 

His smile matched hers. “Now that’s an invitation I can’t refuse.” 

**~ fin ~**


End file.
